And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--------Skip a bit, Brother.................................
And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it. Amen!

 

  1. damnitdinkles reblogged this from damnitdinkles and added:
    I mentioned to someone we had some banger government shutdown posts back-in-the-day so I searched up the tag and...
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  6. ducky-tm reblogged this from oochristinecuoo and added:
    remember when the government shut down and i made a popular post ⚜️follow for more situational humor ⚜️
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